Be Real For Me
by Ally7
Summary: A POV - from the future (Pre - Season 3). When the End of the World, was *truly* the end of the world...


Title - Be Real For Me (1/1)  
About - Someone from the other side watches over.  
Dedication - Jesz who is blocking at the moment have to get over that Quick Smart! Got an Epic Novel to write ;) - Helen who is SO over Roswell! And Lisa just 'cuz :D  
Disclaimer - What do I own? Nothing! N-O-T-H-I-N-G!!  
Notes - Yeah, departure happened but I'm still not over that yet.  
Other - Song by Red Delicious check them out at http://www.reddelicious.com/  
Rating - PG  


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_**Daylight fades my love  
Static comes -  
But you can't hear it,  
Where you are  
You're disconnected**_

Turning up the music box loud enough for the people to complain, the once small figured girl falls upon her bed - body racking and shaking with sobs

_Tears and sadness - such a Pitiful Human Emotion_

Even from the grave, the voice failed to soften - instead, it screamed inside her head louder. Louder. LOUDER still From inside her pillowcase, she carefully draws out a picture of her love - from the corner of her mind, she hears the song playing softly over and over, mocking her.

Much like the voice - it sounds loudly, but she doesn't react.

Too many weights on her small shoulders.

Too many worries in her mind.

And too many promises leaving her broken and behind.

**_This is my Only Song  
I sing it soft to you tonight  
And hope you hear  
Hear me answer_**

Unfolding the picture softly, careful not to tear it, she presses small kisses to its ragged edges. The desperate need to fix it and restore it to its original perfection is incredible - but she's afraid so afraid of making a mistake. What if something went wrong? Then it would be lost forever - some mistakes can't be undone.

That, she had learnt the hard way.

**_I'd fall a thousand steps behind  
If I look back I will go blind  
You're out of site -  
But you are, never out of mind_**

The tears, they fall faster. Pain - sharp as a blade cuts through her.

Bravely, she doesn't fault.

Doesn't move -

And doesn't believe - imagining the pain away.

She had to be strong, that was the only way, but just for now, the small comfort she allowed herself were the heavy tears falling falling from her face.

_**Be real my love  
Be here for me  
And I'll never ask, anything -  
But, this from you**_

She had always dreamed of her true love, her destiny - and didn't someone say once upon a time that

**_A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep.  
In dreams you lose your heartache, whatever you wish for - you choose.  
Have faith in your dreams and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through  
No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing  
- The dreams that you wish, will come true_**

And they always did - especially for those who waited

Or was that just a fairy tale? And a rather BIG misconception?

Or was it just naivety on her part?

_**Darkness falls my love  
That surrounds me thick and close, it  
Holds me in -  
Isolates me**_

So why? She once believed she was everything she could be - and more. But right now, today - that image seemed to have washed away by her empty and wasted tears seemingly, feeling like so long ago. She knew her surroundings, she knew the meaning of power and command - she knew her place in this world and the next. She knew more than any person in the universe, about things no one thinks of, or even cared about. But where had that gotten her?

Nowhere fast.

And nowhere safe.

She couldn't be anyone but herself - but for being just that there were prices to pay and consequences to suffer.

**_This is my Only Song  
My solitary cry for you  
To let me in  
Without hesitation?_**

But - You. **You make her** who She Is. As **She made you** who You are.

Rolling the word 'Destiny' off her tongue - she wonders if something is wrong about it. And I turn and fall about my grave - knowing I have failed

**_If I give, will you receive?  
Will you be true, if I believe?  
You're far away -  
But you are, never out of reach_**

At night, she wakes and reaches for her love, but like it was from the beginning - it's an empty place. When nothing is there to grasp - she draws her hands to cover and warm her stomach. It's all she has, but she hangs on for dear life.

What else is there for her?

**_Be real my love  
Be here for me  
And I'll never ask, anything -  
But, this from you_**

Has she ever asked you for anything but love and acceptance? Maybe that was too much - maybe that was just something you couldn't handle.

Couldn't understand.

Couldn't comprehend and deliver.

**_Be whole my love  
Be real for me  
And I'll never be, anything -  
But, here for you_**

She loved you.

She listened to you.

And she believed in you - even when no one else, Would.

Could.

Or Should.

- So how is it she could do those things without you asking?

And so now you have ruined her.

Ruined her and scarred her for this life to the next and the next - and all the ones after that. But in front of her people, her court, when they laugh at your foolishness - laugh and condemn you stupidity, she will put on a brave face and still defend you. But for how long? How long can she be brave? Be strong? Be there - to fix those broken pieces?

Then soon after that, the tower I pedantically built and created will collapse once more. I saw the future - and I now see where I went wrong. The mistake started with **Me**. With **You**.

So why couldn't I defend her? And why didn't she defend herself? She just let me believe. She had lost the endless faith, she once had for me - and her pride refused to argue back.

**_This is my Only Song  
My solitary cry for you  
To let me in  
Without hesitation?_**

So who is **_She_** that **I** speak of?

She - Who teases me.

She - Who haunts me.

And She - Who tears me to pieces.

Do you hear the bitterness and trepidation in my silent cries?

The remorse and mourning in my arguments?

She - Who holds the key, yet ironically doesn't know it

She is **Tess**.

**Tess** is **Ava**.

And **Ava** is a **Queen**.

**_Queen Avaria_**.

Not _**my Queen**_ - but a Queen to her people and the worlds unexplored.

A **Queen** to the people that mattered.

**_Be whole my love  
Be real for me  
And I'll never be, anything -  
But, here for you_**

So who am **I**? Who are **You**? Who was the **Great Love**, that is now a distant memory?

I have many faults.

I realise that now - my younger self will always be naïve and silly - wistful and full of dreams. I won't like admitting it, but its true. Let the story be told, to the ones who'll listen - for if the renaissance of our essence is created again. I will have...

**EVERYTHING**.

I was **Max**.  
  
I was **Future Max**.

I was **King Zan**.  


But Now -

**I.**

**Am.**

Nothing.

**I.**

**Am.**

Just, a boy


End file.
